


All is well

by neki31415



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-08-03
Packaged: 2019-03-24 15:25:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13814019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neki31415/pseuds/neki31415
Summary: After a traumatic experience, Misaki finds himself depressed, anxious and stuck doing things that he doesn't like. His older brother tries to get him to open up but because of what happened with his parent's accident, he doesn't want to bother his brother with his problems. Takahiro ends up going to Usagi for help.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!   
> This is a boy x boy fanfiction, so if you don't like it then leave. If you do like it, I love you and please love my fanfiction! :)

**Usagi's POV**

“Hey, Usagi-san!” I heard an overjoyed voice yell from the other side of the phone. I’d been called over ten times in twenty minutes in the middle of my work. When I finally decided to see who was being so damned annoying, I found it was Takahiro, my dear friend and the man who I fell in love with.

“Hello, Takahiro,” I laughed at his over-enthusiastic greeting. “Is there something you need?” I haven’t gotten a chance to talk with him in what felt like forever. I assumed he had important things that he had to deal with right now.

“I’m sorry for bothering you,” I could tell he had a goofy grin plastered on his beautiful face. “But I was hoping to ask you for a favor.”

“Anything for you,” I answered. I always felt overly happy when he came to me for help.

“Thank god!” he gasped. “Okay, so I’ve told you about my little brother right?”

“Of course,” I nodded even though he wouldn’t see it. “Every time I see you-you're always saying how much fun he is and how much you love him.”

“Really?” he asked. He sounded out of breath, probably because of how excited he always is. “I had no idea.”

“What about him?” I chuckled. He was always getting sidetracked.

“Oh right!” he screamed into the phone. I winced at the sudden outburst. “I was wondering if you could help me out with him. He’s been through a lot, but he doesn’t want to talk to me about it and he’s so distant. I tried setting him up for a therapist but he refused to go. I was hoping that maybe you could get through to him. You’re such a caring guy, I thought he might actually be willing to talk to you.”

“I don’t know if I’m…” I started.

“Please!” he yelled so loud, the speaker on my phone vibrated. “I know that you can do this!” I sighed, shaking my head. I could never say no to Takahiro.

“Fine,” I groaned.

“Thank god!” he gasped in relief. “I want you two to meet today, ok?”

“Today?” _‘So suddenly?’_

“Would that be a problem?” Takahiro sounded so disappointed.

“No, no! Of course not!” I laughed. “I’ll come by whenever!”

“Thank you so much! Could you be here by around 4?”

“I’ve got a meeting at 9 so that should be fine,” I sighed. “We can’t get drunk or anything though,” I added with a laugh.

“YOU can’t,” Takahiro laughed, he was joking of course. I laughed. I hung up, rubbing my eyes in irritation. _How did I just get wrapped up in this? I guess it was his brother who was keeping him so occupied lately, huh?_ It kind of pissed me off that I was supposed to help a brat who was keeping me from being around Takahiro. And who was troubling the warm-hearted man.

 

I knocked on their small house’s front door, feeling a little uncomfortable. I’d never been into Takahiro’s house. We’d always be at my house or we’d be walking around getting some fresh air. Takahiro opened the door, a big smile covering his face. Even though he looked worn out, he was still as happy as ever. His eyes had dark bags under them and his black hair was messier than I’d ever seen it. But his smile still warmed my heart.

“Usagi-san, please come in!” he cheered when he saw who I was. I obeyed, walking through the door to find a very cramped gray room that was cleaned spotless. A hallway of the same ugly color led to another very small room of the same color. There were two couches on either side of the room and it was just as clean as the first room.

“Your house is very clean,” I said, searching for even one thing that didn’t seem to be in its natural spot.

“Yeah, Misaki loves it when everything is clean and organized,” Takahiro laughed. “I don’t even know how he finds the time to clean up!”

“Where is he?” I asked, remembering what I was here for. I looked around a little more. There was a kitchen to one side, hidden behind two doors that you push to open. On the other side were a very small amount of stairs, covered with carpet that led to another narrow and long hallway. This house really did look spotless.

“Oh, Misaki had to go to a friend's place for a bit. He said he’d be back in less than a half an hour,” Takahiro sighed. “He’s always going to his friend’s place, no matter what I plan.”

“He knew that I was coming by?” I asked, somewhat surprised.

“Of course! As soon as you said you’d be coming, I told him!” Takahiro answered, exaggerating a bit.

“I see,” I nodded, thinking about what could be so important that he’d have to leave after being told that someone would be coming by to talk with him. Takahiro and I talked until we heard a door open and close. Takahiro turned and smiled.

“Misaki!” he cheered, smiling an overly cheerful smile. “I was starting to worry that you wanted to hide away until Usagi-san had to leave.”

When he walked into the room, I didn’t expect to see what I saw. Misaki, my best friend’s brother, was a petite boy with long and wild brown hair. His body looked so light, and his face was surprisingly skinny. His neck tilted to one side, making some of his hair cover his face. He was wearing a long-sleeved black shirt, black jeans that had duct tape patches on them from what I assumed was rips and tears. There was a choker, I guess more like a collar wrapped around his neck. He was limping terribly. He turned to look at me and I saw ultimate sorrow in his shamrock green eyes. His mouth tilted into the most pathetic smile I’d ever seen. It made me shake with rage.

He looked away from me without saying a word. He started whispering something to Takahiro and Takahiro nodded with a remaining smile. “So sorry for being so late,” Misaki’s voice was surprisingly smooth and deep. “I need to go take a quick shower, but when I’m done I’ll make you some tea or coffee to make up for it.”

He didn’t turn to look at me and his head was down, but I knew he was talking to me. I nodded and said my thanks before he limped away.

**Misaki POV**

I groaned as I pulled off my pants in the bathroom. My body felt like shit and I felt like I was going to vomit. I stared down at my legs, which were covered in long scars that would never fade.

I grabbed my phone and stared at the messages from my ‘friend’. It was the same message every time. “Studying at my house in 20 minutes. DON’T be late.” I scrolled down and saw that it was literally the only thing he ever sent to me. He never talked to me at school either. He only ever talked to me when we were at his house when he would insult me with ‘slut’, ‘bitch’, ‘whore’, ‘sex toy’, ‘fuck buddy’, etc. He’d tell me to scream like the slut I was, call out his name so loud that the neighbors could hear, suck him till I vomited.

I limped my way into the shower, rubbing my back and shoulders while the water rinsed the blood and sperm off me. I felt completely disgusting, looking at the substance that that awful classmate of mine had produced and covered me with. I hated being dirty and this just made my stomach churn. I cleaned my body ten times over, hoping to get the awful feeling of uncleanliness off. When it didn’t work, I felt my stomach churn even more and I upchucked all over myself. I coughed a few times and repeated the process of cleaning myself. When I felt clean enough not to get sick again, I turned off the water and got out to dry off.

Let me explain something. I’m not mysophobic  **(that's phobia of germs, in case you didn't know)**  or anything. It’s just I hate being covered in sticky liquids. I can touch doorknobs, I can eat at restaurants, stuff like that.

I pulled on some clothes. I needed to quickly get some longer clothes. I was wearing a t-shirt and shorts, which showed so much that I didn’t want to show. I walked out of the bathroom and quickly ran to my bedroom. I started freaking out when I didn’t have any more long sleeved shirts or jeans.

“Nii-chan!” I yelled and he was outside my doorway in a flash.

“What… is it?” Nii-chan gasped. He really had to run here like a madman?

“I don’t have any more long sleeve shirts or jeans,” I sighed. He was still out of breath and put his finger up to symbolize ‘give me a minute’.

“You know you don’t have to hide it right?” he said after a minute. “I think that you should embrace how you look now!”

I narrowed my eyes before I pulled out a smile. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I laughed. I looked down at my scarred arms and legs. “I mean, I look like Frankenstein’s monster.”

“No, you don’t,” Nii-can frowned, his voice firm. “You can’t make fun of yourself like that. You look amazing no matter what.” I rolled my eyes but kept my smile. I hated that he was so sensitive when it came to me making fun of myself. If it was anyone else, they would laugh with me and agree.

“I’ll be down in a bit, ok? I’m gonna look around and see if I can find something that I can wear to cover all of this,” I gestured towards my body.

**Usagi POV**

Takahiro walked down the stairs with a grim look on his face. But when he saw me, he smiled again.

“Misaki will be down soon,” Takahiro smiled. “He needs to find some appropriate clothes.”

“What happened to the clothes he was wearing before?” I asked, feeling a little angry that I’d been sitting here waiting for this kid for almost an hour.

“I guess they were too dirty,” Takahiro shrugged. “He always cleans his clothes after taking a shower.”

“I see,” I nodded. A few minutes went by before Takahiro’s little brother finally made his way downstairs. He looked uncomfortable and held his hand over his eye again.

“I need a new eyepatch,” he informed Takahiro.

“What happened to your old one?” Takahiro asked. He looked worried, but looked at me and smiled.

“I dropped it on the way back home and it flew away in the breeze,” Misaki said, trying to make his voice lighter and happier. But I didn’t buy it. Takahiro nodded and gestured for him to sit down.

“Would you like some coffee or tea?” he turned to me, moved his hair over his eye and smiled. I narrowed my eyes, trying to understand this kid. He didn’t look away from me and kept an irritating fake smile plastered on his face.

“I’m fine, thank you,” I answered, not taking my eyes off of him as he nodded and sat down next to his brother. There was an awkward silence. I would’ve thought that Misaki would be the most bothered by it but he was sitting peacefully, looking at his long and thin hand. He actually seemed very comfortable with the silence. Until Takahiro decided to speak up and he flinched.

“So, Usagi-san, how’s work going?” I smiled at Takahiro, who looked beyond uncomfortable due to the silence.

“It’s fine,” I sighed. “I just barely finished the last chapter of a new book and it’ll be published in a few months.”

“That’s awesome! Misaki, didn’t you say you wanted to be a novelist?”

“Yeah,” Misaki nodded, putting on a fake smile again. “I’ve read some of your works, Usagi-san. They’re really interesting, I could barely put them down!”

“That’s good to hear,” I smiled back. His smile really made me infuriated. What the hell was up with this kid? “I’ve heard that my books are more for adults. It’s surprising that you’d like them.”

“I understand adult books more. Children’s books leave too many possibilities and questions. Your’s leave a lot to the imagination while they still make complete sense. I also love how detailed your works are, I can picture every setting and I really get absorbed into the story.” His smile almost started to look real before it faded completely and the eye I saw got a little glossy.

“I see,” I mumbled, observing the strange mood swing that just occurred inside this boy. Then he smiled again, even faker than before.

“Well, one of my… friends disagree with me on that. He says that your works are disagreeable at best, and yet he still practically stalks you,” he laughed. I noticed something strange about him when he said ‘friend’, he averted my eyes for a moment.

“Not everybody will love what I write,” I shrugged. “That’s something that every author needs to understand before putting his books out for the world.” I honestly couldn’t care less what people thought about my works. If I was satisfied with it, then no matter the feedback I wouldn’t care. He looked at me and smiled, one shamrock green eye looked almost envious of me. The other one was completely covered by his brown hair. I didn’t understand why he was covering his eye. I _s this his attempt at being edgy?_ It sure as hell wasn’t working if that was the case.

“I’m happy for you,” he laughed, his voice quivering a bit as though he was about to start crying. But his uncovered eye was dry. What was up with this guy?

“Hey, I have an idea!” Misaki jumped at the sudden outburst his older brother made with his regular smile. Misaki turned towards him eagerly awaiting his idea. “What if Usagi-san helps you out, like tutoring?” Misaki looked down slightly.

“Oh, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Misaki laughed. “He’s probably so busy, it’d be rude to ask him to do something like that.” Takahiro looked really disappointed. It made me feel a little disappointed too.

“No, it’d be no problem!” I found myself saying. I really didn’t like this idea, so why did I say that? “I would love to tutor Misaki-kun.”

“Really?” Takahiro was overjoyed. I noticed Misaki looking away from me. I couldn’t really tell what kind of emotion he was feeling just now. “Of course, I’m not asking you to do this for free. How much do you want per session?”

“No, I don’t need money,” I laughed, thinking of the large amount of money that I possessed. I could literally throw away 10,000 yen **(94.10 US dollars)** and it wouldn’t make a dent in the money I have.

“We need to pay you something,” Takahiro insisted.

I sighed and thought about what I might need. “How about pork miso soup?” I suggested after a moment. Both Takahiro and Misaki looked at me in surprise. I chuckled awkwardly. “You see, I don’t get a lot of real meals. And you make really good pork miso soup if I recall correctly.”

I was talking to Takahiro who looked somewhat embarrassed, however not as much as Misaki. Takahiro’s embarrassment was more ‘shit, I have to explain’ and Misaki’s was more ‘shit, this is awkward’.

“Misaki…” Takahiro turned to the teen and Misaki looked up to me and smiled.

“Thank you. I’m glad that you liked it,” he said with an awkward laugh. Takahiro looked over at me and smiled.

“Oh, so you made it?” I asked with a laugh. Misaki nodded slowly. _Ugh, this is really pissing me off!_

“Yeah, I’ve never been good with cooking,” Takahiro laughed. “Misaki learned simple foods with our mother and started looking up recipes and making more advanced things as time went on. Now he can make almost anything if he has the recipe for it.”

“And the energy, time and patience,” Misaki added softly.

“One of his many talents,” Takahiro bumped his shoulder into Misaki’s, making Misaki bump back.

“I don’t know if I have ‘many talents’,” Misaki laughed. “I don’t think I’m all that good at cooking to begin with.” _Your brother gave you a compliment and this is what you say in return? What the hell? Show gratitude instead of disagreeing!_

“Don’t be ridiculous! You have so many great talents and of course, cooking is one of them!” Takahiro sounded a little upset as he said this. Misaki looked even more upset but just nodded sadly. The fake smile was gone again and he just looked pathetic. “Well, anyways, if it isn’t too much trouble, I would love to give up my brother for a little bit every day so that he won’t get D’s in all of his classes!”

Misaki looked ashamed at the sudden outroar of his current grades. It made me laugh a bit. If he is ashamed of his grades, why not get them up instead of going to his ‘friend’s’ house every day? After a moment of Misaki looking like he wanted to die a slow and painful death, his eye started scanning the room as if looking for something. Then he suddenly grabbed a porcelain rabbit from off of the small table next to him and stared at it in his lap. His eye looked to be filling with tears before he pushed them away while closing his eye. _What the hell was up with this kid? Honestly!_

**Misaki POV**

The mention of my shitty grades made me feel so upset. It wasn’t completely my fault that I have the grades I have. I did miss an entire year of school and kind of forgot most of what I’d learned before. My language classes were the worst, which made me feel even worse since I wanted so badly to be a writer.

I started searching the room, hoping to find something out of place that I could fix. That was always how I relieved my stress. But I found absolutely nothing out of place and felt my stress level rising. I turned and found my favorite porcelain rabbit and grabbed it, staring at it, hoping for some answer on how to fix all of my problems. I stared at it and got a reminder of my mom.

My mom saw the porcelain decoration at a store and instantly fell in love with it. I was with her and so was Nii-chan. She didn’t have any money and just flipped out since she couldn’t have it. She was just like a kid when things like that happened. The worker near us told her that he could hold it for her if she came back later today with the money. And she was just overjoyed. By the end of the day, the rabbit was sitting in the living room. I realized I was about to start crying and quickly pushed the stinging tears as far away as they could go.

Nii-chan and Usagi-san were discussing times for my tutoring when I was out of my trance. I looked up and saw that Usagi-san was still staring straight at me, a furious rage hidden behind his lavender eyes. _He really doesn’t like me, does he? He probably thinks that I shouldn’t be bothering him and Nii-chan. That I shouldn’t be alive. That I should just die._

I shook my head unconsciously and let out a light chuckle as I slowly stroked the head of the porcelain rabbit. _No, he knows that that would just hurt Nii-chan. He obviously cares for Nii-chan. Maybe I could even go as far as to say that he loves Nii-chan. He doesn’t really look like a gay man, but you never know._

“Misaki,” my thoughts were interrupted by Nii-chan. “Could you make me some tea please?”

I nodded and jumped up, forgetting for a moment how sore my lower body felt. I almost fell back onto the couch but quickly caught myself and walked away.

“Usagi-san, would you like some as well?” I asked, turning towards the hate-filled man. He nodded, glaring daggers at me and I walked away. I didn’t even realize how bad my limp was getting. I could see that Usagi-san had noticed it. Eventually, it’d get to the point where I can’t even move. And then I’d be out of luck.

“So, what’s up with that kid?” Usagi-san asked, trying to be quiet enough so I wouldn’t hear. But he didn’t know just how thin these walls were, you could hear everything that happens and everything that is said in every room.

“What do you mean?” Nii-chan replied, as clueless as ever. I loved him, but he was so naive and clueless, it got a little irritating sometimes.

“Just, tell me what I needed to talk to him about,” Usagi-san seemed a little irritated. I didn’t blame him, since he had to talk with me for Nii-chan’s sake.

“He hasn’t been talking to me lately,” Nii-chan sighed. _I wonder why_. “I was just worried. A lots happened to him lately and I just want him to talk with someone about it. Everytime I bring it up, he looks so ashamed and avoids the conversation at all costs.” I pulled my hair out of my face, forgetting that there was no point. I sighed, pouring some water into a teapot.

“Well, what’s happened to him?” Usagi-san retorted. His voice had a tone that made me think that he didn’t believe there was any good reason for my actions. Maybe there wasn’t.

“He…” the teapot slipped out of my hands and made a loud clanking noise as it hit the tile floor. I jumped in surprise. “Misaki, are you okay?” Nii-chan yelled. He came running moments later, Usagi-san behind him. I quickly turned away from Usagi-san and moved my hair back into my face.

“S-sorry,” I stuttered, still a little scared at the loud noise I’d produced. “I-it just slipped through my f-fingers.” Nii-chan sighed with relief when he saw me.

“Don’t scare me like that,” he sighed, putting his hands on his chest like he’d just experienced a heart attack.

“I didn’t mean to,” I muttered, picking up the pot and putting it on the counter, happy to find something that I could clean up. I really needed something to calm my nerves. On my way to get a mop, I forgot about the pain in my lower body and found myself about to faceplant. I was right in front of Usagi-san and nearly fell right into his gigantic chest. What surprised me was that he was prepared for me to fall into him.

“You okay?” he questioned, holding his arms out to catch me.

“Sorry, felt a little lightheaded for a second,” I laughed, shaking my head. I needed to get myself together. I walked around him, feeling his eyes on me. It made me feel sick to my stomach. They both went back into the living room, leaving me to clean up. They were talking about the past again, making me relieved. I didn’t know what I would’ve done if they’d continued that conversation.

I jumped out of the kitchen, a big smile stretched across my face as I brought them the tea they’d asked for.

“None for you?” Nii-chan asked when I sat down empty handed. I looked at him and shook my head.

“My stomach isn't feeling too great right now,” I answered honestly.

“Maybe you should get some for yourself,” Nii-chan suggested. “It might make you feel better.”

“I don’t think it’ll help much,” I laughed, still feeling Usagi-san’s eyes staring at me. I felt my stomach churn. “I’ll just take something later.”

Usagi-san adjusted in his chair and continued glowering at me. I coughed a bit on accident, gaining a concerned look from Nii-chan.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Nii-chan questioned and nodded with a laugh.

“I’m great, don’t worry,” I coughed again before laying my head on the back of the couch and turning my attention to the scowling Usagi-san across the room. He saw me look at him and his eyebrows furrowed; he was searching for something. Was I really going to be forced to deal with this guy once a day?


	2. Chapter 2

Misaki POV

I sat in the house, holding the very small but pricey gift I’d bought for Nii-chan’s birthday. I had spent a lot of money that I’d saved up, disappointing myself for wasting so much. 

Nii-chan had recently gone to the optometrist (eye doctor) and found that he was in desperate need of new glasses. But he didn’t have enough money and of course, I blame myself for that fact. If I wasn’t around, he’d easily have the money he needed for glasses. So I decided to repay him by buying him some that were identical to his own but in his prescription. I knew that he’d be mad that I wasted so much money on him when I could’ve paid for my own glasses.

Ever since I’d started only using one eye, my vision had been deteriorating rapidly. Nii-chan had tried to get me to the doctor to help with my poor vision but I’d refused. I didn’t want to waste any more of Nii-chan’s money for my own health expenses. I already felt bad for the year I spent in the hospital.

I heard a wrap on the front door and I quickly went and opened the door. It was my gray-haired, broad-shouldered tutor. He’d been tutoring me every day for the past half year. His expression of hatred continued still, although much softer than before.

“Hello, Usagi-san,” I laughed, motioning him into the house, smiling as well as I was able.

“Hello,” Usagi-san nodded as he walked into the house, seeming as though he was searching for something. He was holding a big bag. He was in charge of the cake, although I was more than happy to make one. I knew he was just going to buy one, since he was helpless with any sort of housework, especially in the kitchen. Once I was greeted when walking into his house with the smell of smoke and when I went into the kitchen out of breath, it was Usagi-san trying to cook himself something. What it was, I’ll never know. It was completely unidentifiable when I’d cleaned up the terrible mess Usagi-san left behind.

“Is Takahiro here yet?” Usagi-san asked, now making me realize what he was searching for. I shook my head.

“He’s still working, he said he’ll be home in about two hours,” I answered. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket, which I quickly turned my attention to while Usagi-san sat in his usual spot on the couch. 

I stared at my phone, my good mood completely evaporating. 

“Studying at my house in 20 minutes. DON’T be late.” 

Now of all times? I was just about to start cooking.

“I’m really sorry, Usagi-san. I have to leave for a little bit. I’ll be back as soon as I can,” I said, not looking to see his glare that I could feel directed towards my back. I ran out of the door, in the direction of my ‘friend’.

 

I fell down off of the table and when I tried to stand again, I fell right back. My waist and back had finally given up and would take a few minutes before I could get them to work again. I heard a laugh from behind me and felt a chill down my bareback.

“Is something wrong, little Misaki?” I heard a mischievous laugh. I shook my head quickly.

“No, no. Nothing’s wrong,” I continued to shake my head as I felt a cold hand lightly sweep my neck. I cringed, displeased with the awful hand. I quickly stagger to my feet, not wanting to allow another attack on my dignity. I practically ran over to my clothes, which were scattered all around the room, ignoring the sickening feeling of the sticky substances covering my body.

Before leaving, I got asked the same question he asked me every day.

“Would you like a ride?” he always asked with a sinister and mischievous voice. I knew exactly what he meant when he asked that, which always made me sick when I thought about it. I knew that I would never make another round.

“Thank you, but I can walk,” I answered quickly before walking out the door, running as fast as could be expecting. I wanted to shower and shower and never stop. I never wanted to see that monster slut again. But that was impossible for multiple reasons.

“Welcome back,” Usagi-san muttered when I slammed the door. I held onto the handle before collapsing to the floor. I gasped for air, I hadn’t stopped running until I got home, so my lungs were on fire. I heard footsteps but didn’t look up or move in any way.

“Are you okay?” Usagi-san questioned when he saw me. He knelt down next to me and patted my back awkwardly while I sat out of breath, my body wanting to disintegrate. After a moment, I wiped the silent tears that were apparently falling the entire time. I looked up at him and smiled.

“Sorry,” I laughed, my voice a little shaky. “I’m fine now, thanks.”

He nodded. He was no doubt confused and I was happy when he didn’t ask what happened. I needed a bit of time to think up a good reason. I grabbed the door handle and pushed myself to my feet, using the handle as a way to balance.

He stood next to me, holding out his arms to prepare for me to fall into him. I stood up for a bit until my body felt like it wasn’t about to crumble away and let go of the handle. I staggered towards my room, Usagi-san following me up to my bedroom door. 

 

 

Usagi POV

I tried to understand what had just happened. But I couldn’t find a good reason for it.

I was just about to light my fifth cigarette when my dear Takahiro’s little brother walked into the house and slammed the door. I greeted him and almost immediately after, I heard a thud as though he’d fallen. When I walked in to see what happened, he was on his knees on the floor with his head down, covering his face. He was completely out of breath too.

Since I don’t know anything about comforting people, I felt really awkward when I patted his back. When he was fine, I wanted to ask him what happened but when I saw his fake smile, I realized that it would just end with a lot of lying which would be a waste of both of our time.

Now I was just sitting on the couch, engulfed in my thoughts as Misaki took a shower. I could hear coughing in the bathroom and felt a twinge of concern. Is he okay in there? Did he get hurt at his friends or something?

I made myself believe that I was worried for Takahiro’s sake since I knew how much Misaki meant to him. But for some reason, when I thought that, I felt like it was a lie.

When Misaki walked out of the bathroom I was surprised to see just how badly he was limping. He was wearing his regular long-sleeves and pants. But I was surprised to see that his hair was not covering his face and there was a long bandage covering the entire half of his face. That just made me more concerned.

He walked away from me, probably to his room and after a minute, he came downstairs with a very upset and somewhat fearful face. He walked past me, not even acknowledging me, and went into the kitchen. 

There was a moment of silence before I heard a smashing sound, followed by the sound of shattering glass, then more smashing.

What the hell is going on in there? I jumped up and ran into the kitchen to find Misaki clenching at his messy brown hair, sobbing with all sorts of kitchen supplies scattered all over as well as glass shards. He looked at me with tear-filled eyes, then quickly looked away from me in shame.

“I-i’m so s-sorry,” he gasped before clasping his hand over his mouth and running to the sink. He began to vomit inside the sink, still sobbing. He slammed his hand on the side of the sink, repeating the motion until blood was dripping to the floor.

I quickly ran over to him, ignoring the fact that there was glass all over the floor and grabbed his hand. I soon realized that the blood wasn’t from any wound on his hand, but coming from his arm. He fell to the floor and continued to sob. I sat down beside him and to my surprise, wrapped my arms around him and kissed his head. Why was I showing so much love towards this annoying kid?

It took him a few minutes before he’d successfully calmed down and stood up, very wobbly.

“I’m really sorry,” Misaki mumbled, hiding both of his eyes behind his bangs. He began to clean up the mess he created calmly, his tense muscles slowly relaxing as he did. When he was done, I was surprised to see how upbeat he seemed to be.

“Are you okay?” I asked as he got out a cutting board, knife, and some vegetables. He looked at me and looked away.

“I’m fine now. I’m really sorry for that. I don’t know what I was thinking,” he laughed a bit. I wasn’t all that surprised by that lie and just nodded.

“You’re still bleeding,” I realized that his hand was still dripping with the crimson liquid. He looked down and began to laugh awkwardly before walking back to the sink and pouring water over his small hand.

“Thanks,” he sighed, putting his hand on his elbow and keeping a tight grip on it as he continued to wash his hand off. When he was done, he dried off his hand and got back to work, not even worrying about wherever the blood was actually coming from.

I went back to the living room without saying another word, not wanting to deal with more obvious lies.

 

Misaki POV

I can’t believe I just did that! Why did I do that? Not only did I freak Usagi-san out but I broke some of Nii-chan’s belongings! I shouldn’t have done that! Why on earth would I do something so absolutely stupid?

“You’re still bleeding,” Usagi-san looked down at my arm, causing me to do the same. I didn’t know what to do so I just awkwardly laughed. I must’ve opened up one of my cuts during that meltdown.

I knew I wasn’t going to roll up my sleeve while Usagi-san was in the room, so I went to the sink and let the water run over my hand, washing the blood off of my hand.

“Thanks,” I sighed while trying to slow down the bleeding by clutching at my elbow. I knew I couldn’t cut off the circulation or anything but this was the only thing I could think of. I stood there for a few minutes before turning off the faucet and drying off my hand. 

I moved back to the food that I needed to prepare before Nii-chan got home and Usagi-san was gone soon after. I sighed in relief, it made me uncomfortable when he stared at me, the hatred very apparent in his eyes. I hated seeing that look.

 

Nii-chan walked into the house. Usagi-san and I were standing side by side and greeted him with ‘happy birthday’. He looked very surprised and happy before he began to thank us over and over.

He was surprised when he saw my gift to him before he started to complain.

“You shouldn’t be wasting so much money on me, Misaki! I’m grateful and all, but if you had the money for my glasses, you should’ve gotten yourself some!”

“I wanted to repay you,” I sighed. “This was all I could give you at the moment.”

“Don’t waste money on me,” Nii-chan demanded and I shook my head.

“Let me repay you for everything you’ve done for me,” I laughed and Nii-chan tightly hugged me.

“You need to learn how to be more selfish,” he whispered into my ear. 

Then Nii-chan opened Usagi-san’s present. Like I’d expected, Usagi-san had gotten Nii-chan a present that made him overjoyed. He’d gotten Nii-chan a watch (a really expensive one) that he’d had shown an interest in when they saw it together. I was somewhat happy that Nii-chan had someone to watch over him with such love. It did make me a little sad to think that Usagi-san loved someone who’d never love him back.

The door squeaked open and Usagi-san and Nii-chan went to see who it was. I was hiding behind a chair like a wimp, confusing the hell out of Usagi-san and making Nii-chan feel horrible.

“Oh, Usagi-san! This is Manami!” Nii-chan cheered before leading a beautiful female into the living room. Usagi-san had a smile that didn’t quite make it to his eyes. Everyone was aware of what was coming next. “Manami and I have decided to get married.”

I looked at Usagi-san and saw his fake smile. It made me so very sad, I wanted to cry.

“You finally did it,” Usagi-san laughed, his voice so desperately trying to steady itself. It was surprising that he was faking it so well. “Congratulations!” I quickly started searching the room for something that wasn’t clean. When I didn’t find anything, I started to feel tears form in my eyes. I saw that the champagne bottle was empty and jumped at the chance.

“Nii-chan, we’re out of drinks. I’m gonna go get some,” I said quickly, running towards the door.

“They won’t sell drinks to a minor,” Nii-chan yelled back to me. I sniffled a bit, there was no other choice.

“Usagi-san, come with me!” I yelled, walking towards him and grabbing his sleeve, pulling him along with me. The tears were already falling by the time I’d stopped running. “I’m really sorry,” I gasped through my crying.

He walked up to me and tilted my head up. He had a small, absolutely heartbroken smile on his face. It just made me cry even more.

“You look absolutely pathetic,” Usagi-san laughed, wiping a tear off of my face. I was a little confused but for some reason, I felt so happy when he touched my face with such a kind look on his face.

“Who’s fault is that?” I asked. “When I start crying, I can’t stop.”

As soon as I had finished that sentence, Usagi-san’s face was right next to mine, our noses touching. His lips touched mine, beginning an absolutely amazing kiss. I’d never enjoyed a kiss before, but I loved this one. He lightly bit my lower lip and I opened my mouth out of habit. Even if I didn’t want to, I would’ve. But I really wanted to.

His tongue explored my mouth, his eyes finally closing and his arms wrapped around my waist. I didn’t know what to do with my hands and put them down at my sides. For some reason, my brain was going so fuzzy.

I was a little disappointed when he pulled away. Although I’d never tell him that. He stared into my eye, his beautiful lavender eyes filled with such passion. He smiled at me.

“You stopped,” he said, wiping some of the wetness off of my cheeks. Then his head hit my shoulder. “I’m sorry, just for a little while.” And he began to cry silently, soaking my shirt. I ruffled his silver hair as he did.

Usagi’s POV

It was weird. At first, I despised the damned brat who was taking up all of Takahiro’s time. Then I was thinking about him all the time, trying to understand him. Then, as I started to understand what kind of personality he had, I felt something towards him that I couldn’t explain. I liked to look at him, his pretty green eye. I wanted to understand him even more, I wanted to understand why he wore what he did, why he hid his other beautiful eye. I enjoyed when he came to my house and tried to learn, just to get caught up cleaning and cooking. I would laugh at how utterly stupid the poor guy was. 

I began to love the little brother of the man who I’d loved for 10 years. Of course, I was in denial until Takahiro announced his engagement. I tried to hide the broken heart that had formed inside of me and was succeeding. Until that damned brat who I’d been falling in love with started to cry for my sake. And I kissed him. And it felt amazing!

“Nii-chan, you know it’s not normal for a newlywed couple to be taking care of a healthy 20-year-old boy,” Misaki repeated for the fifth time. Takahiro and Minami had just barely gotten married and Takahiro’s job was transferring him away. Misaki wanted to move out for some reason. He had just gotten into M University, so I could understand that he’d want his space.

“Takahiro,” I sighed after a minute. Takahiro had been ignoring his little brother’s arguments while packing up. He turned to look at me, hoping that I would be able to assist with his persistent brother. “How about Misaki come live with me?”

“I can’t impose on you like that,” Takahiro shook his head.

“I think it’d actually be very beneficial for everyone,” both Takahiro and Misaki were listening to me, very interested in what I was saying. I could see the skepticism in Misaki’s eye. We’d been meeting a lot, but every time I came in for another kiss, he’d back away and whisper something incoherent.

“Misaki wouldn’t have to spend money on rent, you could be at ease since Misaki will be with me. If anything were to happen, I could make sure he’s safe,” I explained.

“But that would still be imposing on you,” Takahiro continued to shake his head. 

“Well, his rent could be cleaning and cooking. Then I could actually get proper meals and my apartment wouldn’t be a complete wreck 24/7,” Takahiro sighed, taking a moment to think before nodding with a sigh.

Misaki didn’t say anything, just stood there with a kind of sad expression. It made me sad that he didn’t seem to be excited about my idea.

“That sounds like a good enough plan,” Takahiro sighed. “Misaki?”

Misaki nodded slowly, keeping his head down. It made me sad that I couldn’t see his beautiful shamrock green eye. But I smiled, pleased with how that had gone.

 

“Thank you, Usagi-san,” Takahiro laughed. “I don’t know how we would’ve gotten to a compromise with how things were going.” Misaki was in his room, getting his stuff so that we could both leave for ‘home’.

“Nii-chan!” Misaki screamed from his room. Takahiro was gone in a flash.

The conversation was a short one and Takahiro was back, out of breath.

“What was that about?” I asked, laughing lightly at my friend’s overprotective actions.

“Misaki was telling me that he left some of his clothes in the laundry and would come back later today to clean and take them,” Takahiro sighed when he’d sat back down. Misaki was walking out of his room, holding a few bags after a few minutes. I went and grabbed a few so he wouldn’t break himself. What I grabbed was immensely light.

“Bye, Nii-chan,” Misaki called before we walked out of the house and towards my red sports car. We filled the trunk of the car with all of his stuff. “Thanks for letting me live with you for a while.”

“No problem,” I answered, patting his shoulder affectionately. When Misaki was in the car, I was surprised when he moved his hair out of his face. Half of his face was still covered with the bandage.

“What happened?” I asked. He smiled a bit, but his eye was filled with sorrow.

“I don’t think that I’m ready to tell,” he answered honestly. I nodded with understanding. I lightly caressed the bandage.

“Can you show me?” I asked and he shook his head.

“I don’t want you to think I’m disgusting,” he smiled, his smile laced with sadness. “At least for a little longer, I want you to like me.”

“Nothing could make me think you’re disgusting,” I laughed. What on earth could be behind that bandage that could make him think something like that?

“I sure hope so,” I heard him mutter before I started the car and we left his childhood home.

 

“I gotta go. I’ll be back soon,” Misaki waved as he left the apartment. I was surprised that he was already wanting to leave on the first day of moving. He’d already gone to get the rest of his things from Takahiro’s.

I looked into his new room and was surprised that all of his stuff was unpacked and neatly put into the drawers and closet. I looked into his closet to find a large variety of black long-sleeved shirts. Does he have some sort of long-sleeve fetish?

I thought about it and realized that I wasn’t really one to talk. Since I was always wearing a suit. I went into my office and worked until I heard the door close and staggering footsteps. I walked out to find Misaki holding fast to the railing of the stairs. He looked up at me and gave me a weak smile. But his eye was filled with tears.

“Misaki, what happened?” I asked calmly, walking down and grabbing his arm to help him up the stairs. He looked down, his eyes trying to find a solution to his new problem. He looked up at me and shook his head slowly.

He almost fell back which ended with me picking him up bridal style. He had a slight pink tint in his cheeks, which made my heart skip a beat. I leaned down and kissed him. He didn’t pull away and didn’t fight in any way, but in fact, deepened it.

When I pulled away and looked at him, he was crying silently.

“What’s wrong?” I asked quietly.

“I don’t want to…” he began but choked on his tears. I felt this ache in my chest as I thought of what he might’ve been saying. Is he going to reject me too? “I don’t want to hurt you.” My eyes widened in surprise.

“What? Why… How would you hurt me?” I asked quickly, stuttering slightly over myself. He looked at me with his beautiful emerald eye, tears slipping down his cheek.

“I’m not…” he didn’t finish, lowering his gaze to the floor.

“What?” I was getting a little angry. He was a little surprised by my tone and it just made him cry even more.

“I’m sorry,” he whimpered, wrapping his arms around my neck and putting his head on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry. But being with me will… just hurt you.”

“How?” I questioned. “It can’t hurt any more than being rejected twice in a row!”

“I… can’t tell you,” he whispered. “Just believe me.”

I felt my temper rising and when I had walked into Misaki’s new room, I threw him onto the bed and walked off, ignoring that he was now groaning in pain and sobbing.

 

Misaki’s POV

My body was in agonizing pain and now, so was my heart. I never knew it’d be so hard to reject someone. I sobbed pathetically as I thought about what I’d just done. How could I have hurt Usagi-san? As I thought about it, I actually began to wonder if he was just messing with me. Was he just toying with my emotions, or using me as a second for my brother? He probably doesn’t even care. I mean, who’d actually love someone like me? 

When my body finally started to move, despite the agonizing pain, I went into the bathroom. I needed to clean off the guiltiness I felt.

I squatted on the shower floor, hoping that Usagi-san wouldn’t hear my pathetic sobbing. I didn’t have any energy to clean myself and just sat there. I felt myself get kind of hot and immediately thought that it was what I deserved.

“Misaki, are you okay in there?” I heard Usagi-san call, knocking on the door. He didn’t sound too angry anymore. He’s gotten over it already, huh?

“I’m sorry, I’ll be out soon,” I yelled back, trying so desperately to hide the sadness in my voice. After speaking, I began to cough and I threw up in the shower. I gasped for air before I repeated the cycle. I couldn’t get myself to breath and felt myself get a little lightheaded.

After I’d thrown up, I began to really clean myself off. I felt so weak, sick and delirious that I had to stay on the floor while I did.

I turned off the shower and just sat there for a minute before using all of my energy to stand up outside of the shower, dry off and put on clothes. I forgot to put on my face bandage as well as my choker.

I pulled my hair in front of my face out of habit as I opened the door and stumbled around dizzily. I walked into my room and fell onto the bed. I felt some hot liquid seep from my mouth but was so out of energy I couldn’t go take care of it.

 

Usagi-san walked into my room and sat next to my limp body. He patted my back.

“I forgive you,” he sighed. I was going to ask ‘for what’ but if I were to move my mouth, I knew that that would just add the blood pile on the sheets. “If you really think that you’re going to hurt me, then I’m just going to force the reason out of you and then fix whatever it is. I was a little-pissed off but I couldn’t stop feeling an immense love for you.”

“Usagi-san…” I whispered groggily, the room beginning to spin.

“Misaki?” his voice was laced with concern. I felt more blood fall from the deep cut on my mouth and laughed breathlessly.

“I need an ambulance,” I said more quietly than I would’ve liked. Usagi-san was out of there in near seconds without a question of why. The last thing I heard before I blacked out was Usagi-san yelling ‘hello’ through the phone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Usagi’s POV**

 

“How is he doing?” I looked up at the dark-haired doctor who had been taking care of Misaki. He was giving me a sympathetic smile as he stood above me.

 

“He’ll be fine,” he answered with a reassuring nod. “He was just suffering from blood loss and a few other minor problems.”

 

“Why?” I asked about the blood loss. I felt a little terrified to hear the answer. He knelt in front of me and patted my shoulder.

 

“I’ve been Takahashi-kun’s doctor for a while now and he’s always begged me to keep everything quiet. So if you’d like to know, please ask him yourself,” he had a sad expression. I nodded lightly and sighed.  _ I’m going to have to force the answer out of him. _

 

“Can I see him?” I asked calmly. 

 

“Follow me,” the doctor directed me to Misaki’s room. I looked up at the number, smirking a bit despite the worry and stress that I was feeling. His room was number 69. The doctor opened the sliding door and I walked in.

 

It was unbearably dark and quiet. The only noise was coming from the heart monitor beeping in a steady rhythm. I went right next to the bed, barely able to see the teenager in front of me. He had a white bandage over half his face, both of his arms and around his neck.  _ What the hell happened to make him like this? _

 

A groggy green eye fluttered open when I intertwined my fingers with his. He looked down at me and opened his mouth to speak, a little bit of blood noticeably dripping into his mouth from the side of his face that was covered. He didn’t seem to notice and if he did, he didn’t care.

 

“U-usa… gi… sa… n,” he stuttered.

 

“Misaki,” I whispered, taking some of his hair and lightly caressing it sweetly.

 

“W-where am… I-i?” he spluttered through his slightly blood-filled mouth. I pressed a button next to his bed, worried about what was happening with his mouth.  _ Why was his mouth filling with blood like that? _

 

“In the hospital, like you asked,” I answered quietly. His eye showed such sadness as he began to remember what happened. 

 

“I-i’m so-sorry, U-Usagi-san,” he whimpered, tears slipping from his eye. “I d-didn’t mean t-to b-bother y-you.”

 

“You’re not doing any such thing,” I laughed, squeezing his hand tightly. A smile formed on his face before he winced in pain. The smile had faded due to it.

 

“Is something wrong?” a nurse barged into the room. I looked at her and stood up before explaining my concern.

 

“Every time he opens his mouth, it fills with blood,” I explained.

 

“Takahashi-kun…” she sighed disappointedly. “You know that you need to avoid moving your mouth until it heals completely.” He looked at her and nodded.

 

“Until what heals?” I asked, more concerned than ever. 

 

“I’m fine,” Misaki laughed, attempting to get out of bed. “I should go back. I don’t want to disturb my daily routine.” The nurse, like she had vanished and reappeared, was pushing Misaki back down so he was laying down again.

 

“You’re not fine. You need to stay for a few days til we know that you’re wounds are safe,” when she said that, Misaki’s face went pale and he quickly began to shake his head. Tears formed and freely fell down the half of his face that could be seen as he did.

 

“I can’t be here for a few days,” his body began to shake. “I need to go back. Please, I have to.” We were both surprised by what he said next. “I still haven’t destroyed it yet. I don’t have a choice yet. I have to go back.” Misaki’s tears flowed quickly and he shook in fear and sadness.

 

“Takahashi-kun, I really don’t have a choice in the matter. You have to stay until everything’s safely on the way to healing,” the nurse sighed, patting his shoulder kindly.

 

_ What was that just now? He hasn’t destroyed it yet? He doesn’t have a choice? Where does he have to go back to? _ Misaki whimpered before sobbing into his hands.

 

He began to mutter something into his palms, something that I tried so hard to hear but couldn’t.

  
  
  


**Misaki’s POV**

 

My head throbbed as I thought about what would happen tomorrow. What I was hoping to keep from happening, something that I was paying such a high price to prevent, was now completely inevitable. No matter how hard I tried to find some way to fix the problem, there was no solution.

 

“Usagi-san is probably not going to be leaving. He might go home to get a change of clothes or something but then I'd have to sneak out of the hospital. That’s impossible since every nurse and doctor knows me and will know exactly what I’m trying to do if I’m caught,” I whispered out loud without realizing. There really was nothing that could help me in the end. “I might be able to convince Usagi-san to sneak me out… no… that wouldn’t work. He’s aware that I need to stay here for my own health, meaning that he’ll probably make me stay here.”

 

“Takahashi-kun, you should probably get some rest. Make sure not to move your mouth. We don’t want the cut to open any wider,” Nurse Paula, a nurse that transferred to this hospital from England right after I was brought into the hospital for the first time, informed me sadly. I felt so much shame that I couldn’t even look up at her. This was a situation that would end so terribly, I didn’t want to think about it.

 

“Misaki, is there something you want to tell me?” Usagi-san’s voice was guarded with anger and curiosity. I looked up at him and immediately regretted it. Even though his voice was showing such strength, his eyes couldn’t hide the pain he felt from not knowing anything. Even with the trouble that I was causing him, I felt the selfish need to continue hiding everything. The shame that I felt for what I’d done and what I’d let others do was too strong; sharing something like that would just end with both of us upset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being so late. And ending it so abruptly. I kind of forgot everything that I was planning. Hopefully, I'll add another chapter soon, but I can't promise anything.


	4. Chapter 4

**Misaki’s POV**

 

I fidgeted in the bed, hoping with all my might that I’d find something that could save me from what would happen today. I held my phone, begging inside my mind that the daily text wouldn’t come. 

 

Usagi-san stirred in his sleep before his eyes opened and focused on me. There was a look of sadness shown in his beautiful eyes when he saw me.

 

“You know…” he paused so he could let out a tired yawn. “If there is something that is really wrong, I’ll help you out of here if you tell me.” I stared at him in surprise. Was he serious? Was he just lying to me?

 

There was a vibrating on my phone which sent a surge of anxiety and panic throughout my entire body. I looked at the message that I was hoping with all of my might wouldn’t show up.

 

“Studying at my house in 20 minutes. DON’T be late.”

 

A tear rolled down my cheek as I stared at the text. A sick feeling formed in the pit of my stomach and I felt like I was about to throw up again. Without thinking, my hand moving completely on its own, the phone had ended up colliding with the wall and falling to the floor, broken to pieces.

 

“Misaki?” Usagi-san asked, very startled. A valid reaction to what I’d done.

 

“I need to go. Please, I don’t want anyone to see it! Please! I’ve got to go before it’s too late!” I sobbed, slick tears slipping from my eye down my face. Usagi-san just stared at me, completely awed by what I was doing.

 

“You have to tell me first,” he insisted. I shook my head rapidly.

 

“I don’t have time,” I whimpered, the palm of my hand colliding with my head with a loud slap. “If I don’t get there in twenty minutes, everything will be for nothing!” I looked up at him, begging him to help me leave.

 

He sighed in defeat. “If you promise to tell me later, then fine,” he grunted angrily. I didn’t want to, but now there was no other choice.

 

“I promise!” I said without hesitation. “I promise! Now get me out of here! Please!”

 

He rubbed his eyes and stood up.

  
  
  


**Usagi’s POV**

 

_ I can’t believe I actually helped him leave! And how is it that literally no one even noticed that he was gone! _

 

Misaki sat back down on his hospital bed, hair soaked from the shower he’d just taken. His face was a pale green and he looked tired beyond compare. He was practically out cold as soon as he sat down.

 

I stood up and pushed him onto the bed in a more comfortable position. I moved his legs so they were no longer falling off the edge of the bed and his head wasn’t stabbing into the metal arms, instead sitting comfortably on the pillows. Even in a hospital gown, he was covering his arms and legs completely while a choker was securely wrapped around his neck.

 

My hand moved up to his hair, which I ruffled lightly so he couldn’t wake up but enough so he would know that it was happening. Moving his hair out of my way, I gave him a soft kiss on the forehead, before I noticed the large bandages covering the left half of his face. I ran my fingers over the soft cloth, sighing deeply.

 

_ Why did I have to fall in love with this kid of all people? He’s an unstable, injured, half-blind boy who’s the little brother of my first love. I thought I hated him but all of a sudden, my feelings did a 360 and I’m here. It doesn’t make sense! _

 

I looked at his face as a whole and smiled when I saw his pretty emerald eye wide open, a blush present on his face.

 

“Usagi-san...?” he whispered, his voice raw and seemingly non-existent. I lightly pecked his lips for a second time before looking into his eye with the most fondness I’d ever felt.

 

“You promised you’d tell me,” I whispered and the innocence in his eyes hardened into a glare. He nodded.

 

“But can’t you let me sleep for a bit?” he asked softly. I nodded, somewhat disappointed before moving back to the chair that I’d previously sat in. His eye was once again closed when I looked back, his face softened. 

 

I pulled out my laptop and started writing until the small body on the bed stirred to life. When I looked up, I was surprised to find the light of the sun was gone from the windows and the only light was the automatic ceiling lights of the hospital. It turns out, I’d been writing til clear past midnight.

 

“Usagi-san?” the small boy whispered groggily and I went next to him, caressing his cheek to tell him that I was still wide awake. He looked up at me, tears evident in his gorgeous eye.

 

“Time for some answers, Misaki,” I sighed, kissing his forehead gently. He sat up with great effort, nodding softly as he did.

 

“You’re right,” he grunted. “But you have to keep this a secret. Between the two of us, okay?” I nodded. I didn’t think it’d be as serious as it was.

  
  
  


**Misaki’s POV**

 

“It happened the last year of middle school,” I started, my eye shut tight to keep from crying. Just thinking about it made my stomach lurch. “There was this party to celebrate our graduating out of middle school. It got a little crazy, as one would expect from a whole bunch of teenagers. The majority of that night is just kind of a blur of drinking and dancing.

 

“But when I woke up, I found out that some of the guys got a little too high and they’d decided to have a little more fun with me,” I laughed as a tear slipped down my cheek. “They had kidnapped me. And used me as some kind of toy. Not just for sex but for downright torture. They took a video of the lowest point of my entire life,” I wiped at the drops of tears that were escaping my eye. “And now they’re forcing me to continue things that should’ve stopped long ago.”

 

“Misaki,” I heard Usagi-san sigh and when I looked up, I regretted it. He was looking at me, a look of pity and worry in his lavender eyes.

 

“That’s why I rejected you,” I whispered, tears streaming faster. “That’s why I said I’d hurt you if it went too far. I don’t know how long it’ll take before I can destroy that video. And what I’m being forced to do is something that…” I paused, my head throbbing. “Something that would be classified as cheating if I were to date you now. I don’t want you to be in a relationship with someone like me.”

 

“Misaki, you should go to the police. This is illegal,” Usagi-san said sternly, worry present in his deep voice. I shook my head, sobbing harder.

 

“I…” I whimpered. “I don’t want Nii-chan to see that video. I don’t want you to see it. I’d rather die!”

 

“The police can help you,” Usagi-san was now hugging me tightly. 

 

“He will know. He’ll have the video out before the police would get to it,” I shook my head quickly. “I can erase it if I just have enough time.”

 

“Misaki, you need to listen to reason,” Usagi-san whispered comfortingly. “The police will be able to take care of it. And if they can’t, I’ll help you through this.”

 

“You don’t know what that video is,” I whispered. “You’ll hate me if you saw it.” I buried my face in Usagi-san’s chest, my hands clenched into a fist, grasping at clumps of his shirt.

 

“I couldn’t hate you if I tried,” he laughed, kissing my head as he tightened his grasp around my shoulders. “Can I see your face?”

 

I looked up at him in surprise.

 

“You can see it now,” I whispered, my sobbing finally subsiding and leaving me with a few tears still slipping from my one eye.

 

“I mean all of it,” he chuckled, moving my hair that had been trained to stay covering my face. I looked down sadly before nodding slowly.

 

“If you really want to,” I whispered, reaching up to grab the bandage still somewhat bloodied from the injury left on the corner of my mouth. I stopped before I could take it all the way off. “Before I do…” I started.

 

“What?” Usagi-san asked worriedly.

 

“This was because of one of those guys who kidnapped me who really liked home economics,” I laughed a bit. “He said he was ‘practicing’ for a doll or something like that.” Usagi-san looked surprised and a little worried when he heard that, which was to be expected.

 

I started to pull at the bandage, wincing at the feeling of tape being ripped off a deep cut. Usagi-san waited earnestly until the cloth had been completely removed. Usagi-san’s eyes widened and he stared in complete horror.

  
  
  


**Usagi’s POV**

 

_ What kid could do something so absolutely disgusting? And enjoy it? This is absolutely awful! _

 

The boy who I’d involuntarily fallen in love with had an absolutely repulsive left side of his face. Black thread was holding his eye and a long cut coming off of the corner of his mouth shut. It was sloppily done, which made it even more disgusting. His eyebrow wasn’t made of hair like the other but instead the same black thread. There was a large scar on his forehead, starting from the corner of his eye to just past his hairline. 

 

I felt tears threaten my eyes which I forced back. Misaki hadn’t forced his back and tears were slipping from the right side of his face, his normal side.

 

“It’s disgusting, huh?” his voice cracked, a dry humorless laugh forming as he spoke. “You think I’m disgusting, right? I mean, who wouldn’t?”

 

“Misaki, that’s not…” I was interrupted by him punching the side of the bed. It created a clunk from the metal.

 

“It’s obvious in your eyes,” he growled bitterly, setting the bandage back. 

 

His anger almost seemed to deflate like a balloon that was popped. 

 

He then pulled off the choker that I’d never seen him without. **(In a past chapter I said that Misaki hadn’t put on the choker but Usagi didn’t notice)** There was a long scar circling all the way around Misaki’s neck like someone had tried to strangle him. With that, he also pulled up the sleeves and pants that he’d been covering his arms and legs with. His limbs were covered completely in scars, mostly small. His wrists and ankles had identical scars to the one on his neck, circling completely around them.

 

He whimpered as he felt my stare. I averted my eyes, hoping to make him feel a little more comfortable.

 

“It doesn’t even matter anymore, does it?” he asked after a moment. I looked up at him, somewhat worried by his sudden statement. He’d already hid his limbs and neck once again.

 

“What do you mean?” I asked calmly.

 

“I’m never gonna be able to delete the video. I’m never going to look normal again. I’m never going to find someone who’ll love me. What’s even the point anymore?” his eye was streaming tears as he looked up at me for the first time since he’d shown his scars to me. My heart broke when I saw him now completely breaking down. After a moment, he looked down again. “I’m sorry. I’m bothering you with all of my problems and all of my…”

 

I found myself wrapping my arms around his shoulders and kissing him passionately on the lips before he could finish his sentence. 

 

“I love you, Misaki,” I announced as soon as I’d let my lips pull away from his. In seconds, I’d forced our lips back together. I could feel Misaki’s hot tears go from his face to mine. “I’ll love you no matter what. And I’ll make sure to take care of this bastard who’s blackmailing you. So don’t give up hope yet.”

 

I looked at his face, his half beautiful face and saw a little smile creep on his lips.

 

“You must be insane,” he laughed and I kissed him again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO sorry for such a long wait! Life has been insane these past few months. I'll be sure to update more now that everything's calmed down a bit!   
> This chapter's a little short and rushed but it'll get back to normal as soon as possible, I promise!

**Misaki’s POV-**

 

Usagi-san was obviously ecstatic about the fact that I told him everything that was going on, even though he practically forced it out of me.. And I suppose, it made me happy when I saw him smile at me and give me a soft kiss on the forehead or cheek or very seldomly on the lips. 

 

“I gotta go. I’ll see you soon!” I yelled up the stairs to Usagi-san after getting the regular text. I heard a big crash before Usagi-san came running out of his office and down the stairs, out of breath. I laughed out loud at how out of shape he was.

 

“You going to see that guy again?” he gasped out, bitterness in his voice even through the hardships of not being able to breathe.

 

“Yeah,” I sighed, before smiling again. Usagi-san smiled, a look that showed slight worry apparent in his eyes. He put his hand on my right cheek and stroked it softly.

 

“Be careful, alright? I’ll be waiting for you here. Call me if you need anything,” he smiled fondly at me before giving me a soft peck on the forehead. I nodded, turning and walking out the door with the normal limp in my step. I couldn’t help but feel more happiness than I’d ever felt in my life. I’d never felt like someone actually truly loved me, not since that incident those four years ago. Even though I still was being blackmailed, even though I still felt uneasy constantly, in the back of my mind I’d always think of Usagi-san. Was I in love with him?

 

I got to that bastard’s house right on time and he did what he usually did. And of course, I felt sick to my stomach at the sticky, dirty feeling. But for the first time, I felt the need to see Usagi-san, feel his lips against mine, make myself feel better. Thinking about the fact that I wasn’t able to see his face yet made me start to cry. While thinking that and thinking about the fact that I was crying because of it made me cry more for the fact that I had become so pathetic. How had this happened? Now I knew for a fact; I was in love with him. 

 

When I got back, Usagi-san was sitting on the couch, typing away at his computer. He heard me when I closed the door and was up and running over to me. I wiped at the tears left on my face and smiled at him, my lower half sore beyond belief.

 

He wrapped his arms around my waist and I automatically put my arms around his neck. I set my head in the crook of his neck, feeling more secure in his arms than any other. My legs started giving way as I began to cry again and it made me feel happy to know that he was strong enough to hold me up. Nobody ever cared enough to keep me on my feet as I cried. Nobody cared enough to be there when I cried. 

 

“Do you need help in the shower?” he asked. He was obviously trying to tease me, but I didn’t want him to leave me. With great effort, I moved my head off of his shoulder and stared into his beautiful, caring lavender eyes. His eyes widened as he realized what I was saying by looking at him like that. Then he gave me a kind smile. “Alright, I get it. Don’t worry.”

 

He picked me up bridal style and walked me up the stairs and into the bathroom. He sat me down on the side of the bath. He was about to leave the room and I grabbed his wrist, looking up at him, pleading for him to stay.

 

“I’ll be right back, I’m just gonna grab something for you to change into,” he informed me with a soft, calm voice. I nodded and looked down at the floor again. This was really embarrassing!

  
  
  


**Usagi’s POV**

 

I never ever expected this to happen so quickly. Was it just that he was feeling like he was going to pass out or was he actually liking me back now? I would’ve thought that he’d wanted to wait until after we found a way to destroy that video to do something like this. I mean, it’s not like we’re going to fuck or anything but he’s willing to show me his naked body.

 

I grabbed his most comfortable clothing, aware that with the way he was acting, he wanted something that gave him the littlest amount of pain. I took a little time as possible grabbing something, afraid that he’d flip out if I took too long.

 

When I got back into the bathroom, he was seated in front of the toilet, vomiting repeatedly with tears streaming down his already puffy cheeks. I sighed, setting the clothes down on the sink while I took my post by his side, rubbing circles on his back to show that I was here for him. 

 

He seemed to relax a bit when I set my hand on his head, petting his soft hair. Although, it didn’t stop his repetitive vomiting. The only thing that stopped it was for him to completely empty his stomach, which was already lacking food, to begin with. When he finally finished emptying his stomach, he wiped his face off with one of his black sleeves and looked towards me, a look of complete exhaustion on his face. I gave him a smile and stood up, pulling him up with me.

 

I sat him on the counter, kneeling down so I could look into his beautiful eye that was focused on the ground. I cupped my hands over his cheeks, wiping at the remnants of his tears. He looked into my eyes and smiled weakly.

 

“You sure you want me here?” I asked softly, aware of his uncomfort with the scars that covered his entire body. He moved his head up and down once, very weakly. I nodded in response, planting a soft kiss on his forehead.

 

I stood up again, pulling his socks off of his feet (he already took his shoes off at the door). I slowly tugged at his jeans, making sure not to hurt him. His legs were, as expected, covered in scars. It was saddening to see his beautiful white skin disfigured with the slashes. When I pulled his shirt over his head, I felt the same sadness for the rest of his body. He was completely covered with the unattractive scars. But what made everything worse was that his head was down and when I tilted his head up to look at his face, I was able to see just how ashamed he was at something that he had no control over.

 

I set a kiss on his lips and whispered: “I love you, no matter what.” He smiled up at me, a weak and pained smile though it was. 

 

He looked down again, his hands shakily reaching up to pull the bandage from his face. I grabbed his hands and pulled them back down, to his great confusion. I lifted his head back up, pushed his hair out of my way and started ripping the bandage off with great care. He winced and I immediately stopped.

 

“Did that hurt?” He nodded in response and grabbed my hand, using my hand to rip it off just like it were a band-aid for any old wound. He groaned softly but didn’t say or do anything to show any more pain than that.

 

He quickly moved his hair to cover his face, no doubt feeling uncomfortable with the stares that I gave him. I quickly finished undressing the petite boy, earning a dark red tint on his cute cheeks. I didn’t pay any attention to anything that’d make him uncomfortable and quickly sat him inside of the bathtub, warming up the water and turning it to the shower setting.

 

Somehow I knew Misaki didn’t like baths; how I knew was a mystery. He seemed surprised by it too when I pulled off the shower cap and started pouring the water onto him. The “shower” didn’t take much time; I cleaned him off several times until it seemed he was satisfied, then pulled him out. I didn’t care much about the fact that my clothes had gotten soaked or that it was freezing. I dried him off, being sure to be soft and avoiding hurting any part of his precious, fragile body. I quickly put his clothes on him, aware that outside of the shower, it was colder than the arctic! 

 

When he was completely dressed (with his bandages, choker, blah, blah, blah), he looked up at me with a smile before speaking in a hoarse voice, “Thank you.”

 

“You want something to eat or do you want to go to bed?” I asked, hugging his head to my chest.

 

“I’m tired,” he answered quietly. I nodded and picked him up again. 

 

We were on the way to his room when he looked up at me, a plea in his eyes. For some reason, I could tell exactly what he wanted. I nodded, a smile creeping on my face before turning around and walking through the door into my toy infested room. 

 

I laid him down gently on the gigantic bed before lying down next to him myself. I wrapped my arms around his waist, staring into his emerald eye, which was moving up and down, showing the effort it took for him to stay awake. 

 

My lips landed on his soft ones and I was surprised to find that he was 100% kissing me back. It turned into a passionate kiss soon after it started and we started a make-out session until we’d both fallen asleep, facing each other.


	6. Misaki Before This Story Began

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'd gotten a lot of comments asking me about everything that happened concerning Misaki's torture and such. I must say, this was just a chapter that I made to try and make up for my absence, but I found it to be not very good. I hope it was at least, to some of your likings.
> 
> Some of you were asking about what his plans were before Usagi on how he'd get rid of the video. The thing is, he really didn't have one, which is why I didn't put that in this chapter.
> 
> I hope you all can forgive me for always taking FOREVER to update and for making such a shitty chapter! I'm always having writer's block that lasts months. Love you all! <3

_ Where am I? How did I get here? What's going on?  _ A lot of questions like these were flowing through my mind as I sat in a dark room. I was sitting on a metal chair; it was freezing, I could feel it through my jeans. I was missing a shirt. My arms were tied with a very sharp wire, behind the back of the chair. The same material was tying my ankles to the legs of the chair and my neck and waist to the pillar behind me. Even opening my mouth to speak created a deeper cut on my neck. 

 

I continued asking myself questions that didn't seem to have any answers for what felt like days. It sent a throbbing pain through my head when, finally, a bright light was flicked on. There were four guys, most smirking maniacally, in the doorway. The room was all white tile, the white reddened slightly. The smell was horrid, the flickering ceiling lights smelling like burnt rubber. The entire place looked like a typical murder/torture room. It even gave off a terrifying aura.

 

It took me a lot of brain power that I had very little of at the moment to remember who those four people were. The one in the front was Sumi Keiichi, who I'd met several years before. We'd been good friends since we were always in the same class, we were the same age (they aren't the same age in the anime but in this, I thought it made sense since Misaki was held back one year after what happened here so Sumi could still be a class above him after this incident) and he seemed really interested in me. He'd confessed that he thought I was cute and fun, that he wouldn't mind being in a relationship with me. Of course, I refused, since we're both guys and all but that didn't change our friendship.

 

Now, I was seeing him in a much more terrifying light, literally and figuratively. He'd always seemed so nice but right then, he had the aura of a murderer. The other three guys were also in my class, friends of Sumi's. I'd never really met them or talked to them, but they seemed just as nice as him until now. There was the big one with auburn hair he was the only one not smirking, the short one who always wore a beany and the guy who dyed his hair a bright purple.

 

"Finally awake?" the guy with the beany's smile grew worse with every sentence. I opened my mouth, about to answer, but flinched and closed it without uttering a word as the wire pierced even farther into my neck, blood dripping down my neck. "How are you doing, bitch?" The guy with the beany walked up to me, still smiling like a lunatic. He leaned down and, while laughing said, "Better answer before I get offended."

 

With normal human instincts, I didn't even open my mouth. I knew the outcome of trying to speak and, since I'm human, I wasn't going to bother with the one option that I knew the outcome of. But after a few minutes with no answer, the guy laughed and, in the blink of an eye, a long slit was made in my arm. It wasn't big and didn't even hurt that bad. Although, the more seconds past with no reply to his question, the more cuts were left on my arms.

 

"Hey, don't cut him up too much yet," Sumi growled. He somehow had gotten right behind the guy with the beany without me even noticing. Sumi had grabbed the guy's arm and clutched it very tightly, making him flinch and throw his hand away. "We've gotta get that video made before we can do anything!"

 

My eyes widened, confused and worried at what they were talking about.  _ A video? Of what? _

 

Sumi got closer to me and untied the wire from my neck. 

 

"Takahashi-kun..." Sumi's eyes showed that he was threatening me. "If you don't do exactly what I tell you, I will kill you in the most gruesome way possible. Not just you but your brother too. Understand?"

 

I stared at him in complete shock. I didn't know what to do, I was being threatened by my friend? How did it even come to this? He slapped me across the face, cutting off my thought process.

 

"Do you understand me?" he asked, putting the wire that he'd just untied from my neck against my neck once again, making the cut in my neck deeper. The threatening look on his face became even darker as the wire cut even farther. I opened my mouth and the wire was loosened from my neck.

 

"I... understand," I whispered and a smirk appeared on his face.

 

"Good," he said before taking off other wires. While taking off the wire around my waist, his hand wandered a little too far south. My face turned a dark red. "Now you're going to ride me and you're going to act like you enjoy it," the red in my cheeks immediately changed very pale.

 

"Y-you're kidding!" I gasped but I could see it in his eyes, there was no joking involved. He just laughed.

 

"The camera set up yet?" he turned to the auburn-haired man adjusting a camera on top of a stand. The auburn-haired guy looked over and nodded.

 

The wire around my waist was untied in near seconds and I was pushed right in front of the camera, a table in front of it.

 

"Just enjoy yourself," Sumi whispered seductively as he pulled me into a forced kiss.

 

(I would do a sex scene but sadly, I'm no good at them. Misaki's just riding Sumi and acting like he likes it in order to keep himself and his brother safe. I'm sure your imaginations can come up with something fun!)

 

_ "Come on, don't be such a downer! Drink it! You'll feel great!" a drunk Sumi laughed, leaning up against me while holding a plastic cup in front of me. The cup was filled with some alcoholic beverage that no one had identified. I knew that there was no getting around this without drinking at least one cup. Of course, drinking one cup turned into drinking fifty. _

 

_ People all around us were drinking, kissing, doing a little more than that if they drank enough. It was getting out of control, but I couldn't stop it because I was just as bad as everyone else. I didn't even remember that I had my own house and my own brother. All I was thinking about was how much fun it was until I'd become too wild and I'd hit my head against a wall like an idiot. _

 

My eyes went wide as I stared at the dark room. I was once again sitting on the metal chair, sharp wires on my wrists, ankles, neck, and waist. But this time, instead of just missing a shirt, all of my clothes were gone. I was completely exposed. I thought about that dream, knowing that those were the memories from before this mess began. My eyes filled with tears as I remembered what had happened before I fainted.

 

I recalled Sumi's awful smirk through my half closed eyes. He bit the shell of my ear and whispered in a disgusting seductive voice that didn't match what he was saying, "We videotaped that entire thing. And if you don't comply with what I tell you, I'm not afraid to send it to everyone you care about. And I don't need to tell you how their reactions will be. Get some rest, we'll be having more fun tomorrow."

 

I silently sobbed, the wire around my waist and neck slicing into me with every deep breath I took. The pain was beginning to catch up with me, excruciating pain coming from the wires, a stinging sensation from the cuts on my arms and a dull ache in my lower back from Sumi’s “fun”.

 

“He’s awake,” I heard from behind the door. “Can I practice now?”

 

“Yes,” that was Sumi’s voice. “Just don’t do anything that could kill him, got it? He hasn’t been here for very long.”

 

“Right,” there was a laugh from the other side of the door. The door opened, showing a blinding light. I winced, my eyes burning. When my eyes had finally adjusted, the guy with bright purple hair was standing in front of me, a small bag in his hands and a glint in his eyes.

 

He knelt down in front of me, not saying a word as he opened the small bag, pulling out a needle and some thread. He looked up at me, a devilish smile on his face.

 

“Don’t struggle,” he said softly. “It’ll just make things worse for you.” He also pulled out a small knife. He held up the knife and put it against the side of my mouth. I didn’t struggle, just like I was told, but just stared at him and tried to stay calm.

 

The knife began to carve into my cheek, starting at the corner of my mouth. I tried to keep from screaming or squirming for fear of being killed by the wires restricting me, but it was impossible to keep quiet. And he just laughed as if this was the most entertaining thing he’d ever done.

 

When the cut that he was carving onto my face was about halfway through my cheek, he pulled the knife out, which was far more painful than anything else he’d done so far.

 

“This is gonna hurt,” he announced before grabbing his threaded needle. And he was right, it did hurt. He was sealing up the wound he’d just made, and he did so in the most painful way possible. 

 

As I cried out of sheer pain, the salty tears ran into the cut. I could feel them mix with the blood and resonate in my mouth. The taste was disgusting and repulsive.

 

“Close your eyes,” he demanded and it didn’t take long for me to do so. I felt something sharp pierce through my eyelid and into my eye. I didn’t even feel the pain in my neck as I let out a blood-curdling scream as the sensation of being stabbed over and over again in the eye. And it didn’t take long for my brain to shut down and for all feelings to seize.

  
  
  


I was disappointed when I reawoke. I hoped that I’d finally found the sweet release of death. And every day, I’d continue hoping for that sweet feeling; feeling absolutely nothing. But it never came. Every day, a new wound, a new fear, a new feeling of pain. I wanted death so badly.

 

It was even worse when they decided to leave me on the side of the street naked, to be found by a complete stranger who would take me to the hospital. That complete stranger ran as far as they could when they got me to the hospital. It was probably too gruesome of a sight for someone to stomach. After all, I was covered in blood and other things, hands still tied behind my back, with half of my face disfigured.

 

My wounds were cleaned and taken care of. I was questioned by the police.

 

“Who did this to you?” a young police officer asked sternly.

 

“I don’t remember,” I answered softly, staring down at the ground. I hated lying, but now I had no choice. I had been told not to tell anyone and to do exactly what I was told, in order to keep that video away from the prying eyes of everyone I knew.

 

“You don’t remember or you don’t want to remember?” he asked, his tone of voice cold and terrifying. It reminded me of the guy with auburn hair who used me as a punching bag. He didn’t smile once, but just talked with an irritated tone and frowned.

 

“I don’t remember,” I muttered, sighing in relief when he growled and walked out.

 

My brother came to see me in the hospital as soon as he found out. He said that he was worried sick and he was happy I was alive. Although, I didn’t feel the same. The pain was still there, even with all of the medication that I’d been given. Every move of every joint shot a burst of pain throughout my entire body.

 

When I was finally allowed home, I found out that I wasn't at school for the entire school year. Meaning, I’d be set back a year. I felt like I had become useless when I found out, especially when I went back to school and found out that everything I’d learned for my entire life had been wiped from my mind completely.

 

To top it all off, my first day back in school, I saw Sumi for the first time in many months. I spotted him from across the hallway and I completely stopped, staring at him completely terrified. He turned and saw me, and he smiled like he’d never put me through hell in the first place. He went up to me, too close for comfort. 20 miles wouldn’t be far enough away.

 

“I’m so happy that you’re alright! Everyone was so worried about you!” Sumi gasped, putting on a very good act. I stepped backward slowly, hoping to get a little more comfort from one step. But one step backward sent him two steps forward. He got even closer in order to reach my ear. When his mouth was inches away from my ear, he whispered, “Meet me at the front gate of the school right after school, unless you want your precious brother to see that video.” Then he ran off, leaving me completely frozen, unable to move my body in fear that if I did, my body would crumble away.

 

That day, I didn’t even notice when the bell rang for class to start. I didn’t notice when I’d fallen to the floor, seated with my head against the lockers, staring aimlessly into space. I didn’t realize that I nearly missed all of the class when the assistant principal found me and tried to talk to me. And the strangest thing I didn’t notice, was when a whole bunch of teachers was called to help me to the office since I was unable to do just about anything.

 

I ended up coming back to reality just in time for the third period of the day. By the end of the day, I was ready to face him. And I did. I can’t even express the emotions I felt that first day when he raped me for the first time since I’d recovered. And every day was another session. I just wanted it to stop, I want it to stop. The thoughts of keeping that video away from everyone I love keeps me going but what will happen if I were to ever get rid of it?

 

That question had been a constant in my brain. Would I finally decide to take that sweet release that I’d been hoping for? Probably.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction on this site so please don't judge it too harshly.   
> PLEASE send me comments. Anything, I'll even accept criticisms. Just be nice when you criticize me. Tell me what you liked, disliked. I might not answer back, but I'll always read them!


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